When working with people within the church, one cannot help notice that people are on different spiritual levels. Some are way to emotional, while others are emotionless. The reasons for this diversity is based on past experiences, knowledge and their personality. I also run into people in the church, that should understand a lot more than they do... but, just lack ambition to learn.
Some of the other areas I see a lack of knowledge is in spiritual warfare, holiness, sound doctrine and relationships within the church. While, I have already written about spiritual warfare, I am going to begin a series of studies on relationships within the church. However, I won't be dealing with the "brotherly" relationship so much; as most of my main focus will be geared towards singles, marriage, divorce and widowhood.
RELATIONSHIPS BEFORE BEING SAVED
For some people, before they are born again, the relationships they had in the world were often messy and full of contention; even ending in divorce. Most relationships were based on lust, selfishness, false reality and too high of an expectation from the other partner. Most couples didn't really trust each other. Couples often moved in together before getting married. And of course, a lot of people had sex before getting married, or they didn't even get married at all.
All those things above makes dating and relationships in the world a very slippery slope. The ideas of relationships and marriage in the world often leave gaping holes in a person's heart from all the pain. Their perceptions of real love are skewed into something that just doesn't bring fulfillment. Trust is broken; psychological issues come to the forefront... and it is through all this mess that a person comes into the church and brings all these misconceptions and pains with them.
RELATIONSHIPS AFTER BEING SAVED
When a person is born again, they begin a new life. The sins they committed in the past are all forgiven and washed away. However, some of the ideas and philosophies they brought into the church are not gone; but instead are ingrained in a person's mind. The issue with that, is that if their concepts of relationships are incorrect, they will try to have a relationship in the church using those incorrect ideas again... and then they will just end up repeating the same mistakes they did before being saved.
For a person to have a godly relationship within the church, they will have to re-learn how relationships work in the Kingdom of God. The truth is, relationships in God's Kingdom are much different then the way the world does it. Therefore, a person has to understand some principles of God to have a good marriage.
My main focus above is directed to those who came from the world into the church. However, if you are fortunate enough to have been raised in a Christian home, with good and proper guildelines about marriage, then alot of the things I spoke about may not effect you a whole lot. However, we will be covering some things for people who were raised with proper teaching later in this series.
With the difference between realationships in the world verses relationships in God's Kingdom, we are going to have to search scripture to find what makes a good relationship leading up to marriage. The hardest part of dealing with relationships that pertains to marriage is that lust, infatuations and inordinate affections (out-of-control emotions - desires) can keep people from seeing the truth. So, with that in mind, this series of studies is going to deal with the internal mind and heart, as well as righteous principles to make a good relationship.
WHAT CAN I EXPECT IN THIS SERIES ON REALTIONSHIPS IN THE CHURCH?
What I am going to try and convey is information that will help you understand how to be content as a single, working towards marriage, handling divorce, and living as a widower. Here is a list of upcoming articles for this series (which may change at any time):
• The First Relationship
• Sin Changes The Course of Relationships
• God's Law Concerning Relationships
• Relationships in Scripture
• God’s Relationship Plan For You
• Being Single Isn't A Bad Thing
• Emotions vs Love
• Unrealistic Expectations
• What Is Inordinate Affection?
• Dating & Courtship
• Traps of the Devil
• Preparing For Marriage
• Example Of A Great Marriage
• Husbands Love Your Wife
• Wives Love Your Husband
• Godly Romance & Intimacy
• Unified Home Life
• Why Things Go Bad
• Avoiding Divorce
• Living In Widowhood
Read: The First Relationship